We're facebook friends in real life
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
