can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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