Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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