also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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