WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
