do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
