i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
