i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
