Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
