he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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