sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
