they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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