every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
We are all done wearing pants today
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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