you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
