its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
vagina is talking i cant
Hippo gnu deer
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
