PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
