he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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