this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize