What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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