Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
