Someone shit on the floor
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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