I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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