What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
