Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
