You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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