just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
