Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
