Your dad touched me again.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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