so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
