another moral hangover. fuck.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
