i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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