i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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