Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
