we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
