I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
