Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
