i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We are two peas in an std pod
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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