Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
