dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
