Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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