It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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