she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
