Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
