i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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