she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
