Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
