yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
