Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
