That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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