It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
