I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
