My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
