I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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