Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Operation Purity has been aborted
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
