she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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