WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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