Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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