Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
