I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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