And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
there is puke in my bra ... again
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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