you guys were way drunker than both of me
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize