I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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