well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
