UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
