I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
