All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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