He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Shitshow foam night was such a success
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
